This is how I live, love, laugh my life.
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I cried ok. After like 256325 days of not crying. I CRIED again. I told myself never to shed any tears again. But i did.What i missed most about the 8 mönths relationship is that, i missed his hugs. His hugs assured me that i'll always be safe with him. Always. Every morning i woke up, i will say his name, & i always pray for his safety. Each time he hurt me, i cried. Cried because i was hoping so much from him. I know its pointless now. There was a moment where i thought that, nothing is important except him. Yes. Nothing. Even my o levels. I know it sounds crude. But i have devoted my life to him. All because of one promise. He promised me that, he will take care of me, love me and marry me once i finish my education. Ok. It started to sound ridiculous but that's what he promised me. I cannot be with him when there's no more love, care & concern i felt from him kan. I can't possibly do that. I missed him. Miss him so much that i barely could open my eyes every morning. I tried to pretend as though nothing happened. But i can't. I'm weak. I really am. Yes. I got to know guys, but none of could make me forget about him. I'm not sure why. I want to let go of everything i had with him. Everything. But i just can't. I have only one thing to keep me company at night. His tee which his scent still stuck on it. I miss him. Yes i admit it now. Now, i'm trying to keep him off my mind. I want to leave him in peace and never to bother him anymore. I swore to him that i will never appear before him nor his family. He hates me now. I'm sorry. I never want this too. But if he wants it this way, i've got no choice. I know his happier now. & i hope i'll be happier too in days to come. I'm leaving the memories behind. To my loves, i need your strength to move on. :'(