This is how I live, love, laugh my life.
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Im so tired & sooo down. Went home from work feeling sooo down. I cried at work. I went to my previous blogs where all the memories i had with him are posted. Its SAD okay.Extremely sad. I cried looking at all the photos i took with him. I just can't forget about him. Why? Tell me GOD. its so unfair. He can live HAPPILY, why can't i?

My life is now a disaster. I prayed every night, hoping for a miracle. But my prayers seems to be unanswerred. I wanna be happy like i used to be.I want to lead a normal life like other people who got their heart's broken too.Im here. Sitting all alone by myself, crying helplessly wishing HE would HUG me & told me that everything's gonna be alright. But dreams, as well as fantasy can never be reality.I was left with a broken heart & a pain to struggle. At times, i just WISHED that we never even met, never even MESSAGED each other. But who am i to stop GOD from his plans?If i knew things would be tougher now, i shouldn't have start a relationship with him.But how could i NOT when HE gave me hopes & dreams. Showering me with PROMISES. & now, he's the one shattering it.Seriously, i just DON'T KNOW what's the status of our relationship at THAT point of time when you saw me walking with MY neighbour. You don't seem to care about me afterall but you were angry with the fact that i MERELY walked to your HOME with him. You gave me hopes, & make promises to me. I can never forget the hugs you gave me after an argument, the sweet kisses whenever im going home & most of all, i miss you.I can never move on cos i'm still stucked with our memories dear. I'm sorry.I don't blame you for this because i know, i was not the best & i know, you deserve someone better.Don't mind about me like you always did.

For the very first time, I cried so HARD to Mama.

But I didn't tell her why. & she didn't even ask me why.

I'd guessed she know the reason why.

Am I fated to be in SUCH situation? I wonder what awaits me out there.

I can't hide my true feelings now.

The laughter, the fake smile but beneath it was all agony, grieves, sadness.

I can no longer prolong this feelings I had.

GOD.

If you're listening to me, help me through this. I want happiness again like everybody else.

Take care, my ex HUBBY.
I'm sure gonna miss you. I won't wait for you cos i know, you have someone else now.