♥ ALBANIAA

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This is how I live, love, laugh my life.

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Sunday, July 20, 2008
8:40 PM

“Nobody told me that it will hurt so bad..”

On Friday, celebrated AfiQ’s bird’day. Hah. We bought him 17 waffles as a replacement for cake. Cool or whattttttt? And the candle John brought was a candle meant for praying. Hah. Well, it’s the thought that count. So, AfiQ’s seventeen now. Still, a year to legal. Afiq couldn’t finish up his waffles so we ask AfiQ to share with Iraaa, the birthday girl too. Born on the same date, on the same year & in the same hospital. Sweet or whaaaaaaaaat?! Hah.
Computing was okay just now because FaizWahSehWahSeh helped me. Thanks anws. And the bandung too.
During meeting 2, there was a power failure. So, Faci told us to pack our bags and moved to W35N. But then, there was insufficient power point so, the whole class moved to level 6. Up at level 6, the vacant classes are meant for praying. So I told her.

Me: Faci, this is praying room lah. Where can enter?!
Faci : Never mind. I go scold them.

Actually, I didn’t hear what she said. But when we came back to class [after 10 minutes of class huntings], Zubee told me that she wanted to scold them. Hah.
Faci : Aiya, I thought people playing lah! I never hear you said PRAY.
Funny or whatttttttttt?!

We laughed our ass off. Our computing faci is darn funny and super cute. You know I loveeee teasing her and how she loves to pronounce people names wrongly. On top of that, she will give grades that we deserved.

Our Science Faci sent us an email with regards to the RJ that we, the leavers submitted to her. She said that she was disappointed, disheartened, tired and void. All I can say is that, you ask for it. You were the one who miang miang write the RJ question which was indirectly referring to us and now you said your feelings were void, tired and etc. You said you were disheartened. We were disheartened by you long time ago and now you know how we feel. Partly, I agree that somehow, we are at fault too because we skipped your lesson. That’s against the majority of the Faci’s rule. But then, come to think of it, what’s the point of staying when you know you tried your best to understand and did your part in contributing ideas to the team but all you get is a demoralizing grade?. For the first time yesterday, I wrote a long RJ specially dedicated to my Science Faci.

Telling her that by comparing US with the other class did not do us any good. Why should you compare? I mean, it’s clearly proven that you dislike us as you could even MAKE a presentation between us and that class? That won’t help Miss. As much as I love Science, if the one who teaches us is someone who is impatient, biased and unreasonable, then forget it.

Thanks to you. All I know, I’m going to repeat this module next year. Hopefully nots. Grrrr.

ADELA and ALBANIA.

BORED.

Nazihah is super cute when she says, "Anoi, Oh Anoi!"

Mummy and Nazihah watching Ayat-Ayat Cinta. [Nazihah MP!]

Late Grandpa, naughtyIHAH and Granny.

Nazzzzihah's family potrait. Cute or whattttttttt?

See how naughty she is!

I miss my trekkers. I miss the trip. I love them all.

Tonight, I laid my tears again. For the countless of times, I cried for you. The day when you walked away, not even once did you turned back. I was sad, helpless and depressed. I didn’t know what to do when you decided that, it’s the end. I was prepared for it but still, the hurt was unbearable. Up till now, I can still feel the hurt. People said, it will get better in time and time will heal. I waited and wanted so much for it to heal. I figured, loving someone who doesn’t love me eventually will lead to nowhere. Not even close to happiness. So, I waited, waited for a miracle to happen.
A month after you left, I started to know the meaning “HAPPY” again. Thanks to the supportive family and the bunch of people whom I called “Friends”. They were my pillar of strength when things were rough and they were my happy pills when I was down.

In the midst of it, I got to know guys. But then, not even one captured my heart. Maybe it’s just me. I just didn’t want to let go of the past. This part, I admit I am stubborn. I don’t want to let go of our memories and that makes me live in denial.
Two months have passed; I began to live normally like I used to be a year ago before I met you. However, again, GOD wanted to test me. You came back. You crawled back again and you said those words again. Again, those empty promises were made. Again, you left me hanging without an answer. Again, I bought your sweet words. And AGAIN, those memories came back and again, you gave me false hopes.
I didn’t want to make it sound like you were at fault. But I know, I didn’t do anything to make you leave. Maybe, unknowingly I did. But, this is not the way. You left me questioning myself. Making my life miserable time and again. There’s nothing I want more but an explanation to why you have to do this to me. What have I done to make you do this?

Each time I post an entry about you, I bet that it will be the last. But, I can’t. There’s so much I wanted to say till I don’t know when to stop.
I’ve made a decision. I don’t want to be with you again. I’ve thrown everything away, including your helmet and shirt. You want to get angry, get angry for all I care. As much as I wanted to be happy again with you, I know it’s impossible. Because all along, the happiness I had with you is just temporary. It will never last.
I’m sorry but I have to be like this to make myself believe that you are not worth my tears.

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