This is how I live, love, laugh my life.
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What's past is past. I should have just let it rot and never turn back. I refused, I was stubborn. I thought by giving those chances back was a wise decision. I was proved wrong. Don't compare me with that whore who only knows how to sleep around and get her freaking hole fucked by men. I'm not perfect, I never said I am. But you, you thought you are perfect. You live in your denial world, picking out mistakes from the girl you once had.

I should have just listen to my own kin. I should have just forget about replying. When you feel like having me around, you said all those nice words just to impress. But when I'm not needed, you treated as if I have gone extinct. My feelings has faded away eversince you hurled those vulgarities to me. But I kept telling myself to give you/us the chance. The chance to start all over again.

Remember you once had me, twice too. And the third time, I was left hanging without an answer. Have you ever thought about how heart broken I am at that point of time? You created a mess in my heart. And when you know, I'm in love with another person. You came back, you crawled back. But then, you blamed me for cheating behind your back when the fact is, we are not even together. Even, my dressings seems to be a problem for you.

I seriously don't know what you want right now. You insulted, mocked, shouted, scolded me I kept mum cos I know, you won't admit defeat even if you know you are in the wrong.

But you forgot, even if you have the last say, doesn't mean you have won and that you are perfect, okay?

Every relationship failed, you blamed solely to the other party because they are not perfect like you. They lied, cheated you but you didn't. And every relationship, you are the one who is always trying to make the relationship and not the other party. *rolled eyes*

Ok, I'm raking up the past. But so what? This is my journal,my online journal. I have the right to pick any dreadful memories of you. Because today, you make me despise you even more.

Sometimes, I just don't understand what am I doing to myself by giving you the chance to break my heart over and over again.

Where were you when I laid those fucking tears for you? When I'm at my worst condition, you were not there, you were not even there when you jolly well know I needed you!

For months, I suffered silently. I had enough of you trying to reconcilled and then you went off just like that. If you think this is a game, then you are wrong. You played those foolish games and I remained silent cos I just didn't want to prolong the matter.

You told others I looked down on you when the fact is, I DID NOT.

And now, when I have started living happily again, you hurled those words again. But, your provocations seems not to work cos I believe this is karma.

Just so you know, I am living happily now without anyone like you. And yes, I'm in love with the guy that not even once said this right into my eyes (even if it's the fact), " amongst all my ex girlfriends, you are the ugliest".

Just so you know, I don't take jokes from you.

Labels: just go